My transition as a working mom to a stay at home mom
Hi friends! This is a post I have been meaning to write for a while, and according to a recent poll I did on my stories you all want to see it too. So here it is!
It’s been almost a year since I left the corporate world to be a stay home mom. Can you believe it? I certainly cannot. Last year after coming back from my maternity leave with Anastasija, I left my job. I left the corporate world, and didn’t look back. I remember daydreaming of being able to stay home to raise our children. I remember those days I prayed for what I have now.
It was so tough on me at first
Before I get into all the details about the transition, the struggles, was it worth it, do I regret it and what I would change about it, if anything – I want to give you a little background. When I had my firstborn, Vasilije which is almost five years ago now (wow! cannot believe my oldest is about to turn 5 in less than two months), but anyways, when Vasilije was 12 weeks old, I went back to work full-time. I was torn, as I left him behind. I left him in good hands, I left him with my mom and brothers. I knew he was well taken care of. That was not the problem. But, I…. I was still an emotional wreck. Something was not okay. Something was going on internally that I couldn’t recognize, or explain, at least not in a way someone could understand. Something in me was not okay. I later realized it was all in the hormones. My hormones were all over the place, I was struggling. A part of me was missing, this was my first baby, we were attached for nine months and bonded even more for the 12 weeks of maternity leave (6 weeks paid and 6 weeks unpaid), and now I had to leave him. All these feelings and emotions hit at the same time and not to mention going back to a hectic work environment did not help. All these emotions were all so new to me that one minute I was totally fine and so happy, then another I was sad. Luckily, I immediately switched positions.
Things got better the second time around
Then, almost two years after Vasilije was born his baby brother Mateja was born. There was no question this time around I was going back to work full time. I was going back much much happier than the first time around. Although I was secretly wishing I could stay home with them. They were so perfect, and I could just see myself being with them all day every day. I felt as though motherhood was my true calling again. I think I would have done anything just to stay at home with them. Yet, another part of me loved being back to work and not to mention I had switched roles coming back the second time and this team was a dream team to work with. The environment could not have been better, the bosses were beyond amazing, it was the best job ever. I am not going to lie, I still miss everything about it. We were just getting into the flexibility of working from home, and it was so nice to be able to be home two days and three at the office. But, working with two toddlers, and pregnant with Anastasija was not easy either. I still miss everything about it but I never once doubted my decision to stay at home. Also, I found myself in all this, found my true passion and my calling.
To be honest, it’s hard to explain the feeling of wanting to stay with your babies but at the same time loving being back to work. I think it has a lot to do with the work environment too. I don’t know how to explain that. It’s just how I felt the second time going back to work. Perhaps it was the fact that I loved my job. Perhaps it was the fact that I knew my babies were in good hands. I don’t know.
The transition to SAHM
After having Anastasija, a lot of things changed. A lot of things including the decision to stay at home to raise my three loves. We started a family business, I filled paperwork to start a corporation and things got busy. In addition, I took a leap on myself and started blogging. I started looking into Influencer programs, getting involved in different events. I knew that I could not just be a stay at home mom, no offense to anyone but I was never suited for just one thing, I am ambitous and always fought for more and wanted independence, confidence, self-initiation, never stopping.
Today, I am living my dream of being able to stay home with my babies, raise them and see them grow. It’s such a nice perk to be able to go places with them whenever we want to. And even though I no longer have a 9-5, rather a when I open my eyes to when I close my eyes role now I wouldn’t switch this for anything. I love waking up in the morning (you can read my morning routine here) and seeing them. I love being able to take Vasilije to school, and pick him up. I was hoping I would be able to do that once he started school and so happy I can. And while he is in school, the three of us (Mateja, Anastasija and I) take a walk to the library to play.
My days now
My days consist of raising my tiny tribe, to blogging in between and wrapping up administrative work incl. accounting for our family business at night, when everyone usually sleeps. Some days are harder than others. Some days I have more work than others. Some days I am not as motivated to blog, hence the reason I haven’t posted anything in a few weeks. Yet, other days I want to do it all and more. Balance.
Motherhood is hard
I keep looking at Anastasija grow and hit all her milestones, and it’s the sweetest thing ever. Obviously, the first time I am home all the time and not missing anything.
I am not going to lie, there is no job harder than that of motherhood. There is no job more important than raising tiny little humans. Whether you are a mom raising your tiny tribe, or a dad raising that tiny tribe there is no other role that could ever be more important than that of a parent. I will forever be a dream chaser, entrepreneur, a go-getter but my true calling will always be motherhood. Motherhood is my muse.
And if I am being honest, there is not even one day that I regret staying home with my boys and lady. There was never any doubt in me that I didn’t make the right decision. A lot of sacrifice, and a lot of commitment but here I am today raising this tiny tribe of mine and couldn’t be happier. And, thanks to my husband for making this dream come true. He works from dawn to dusk to make it all happen. He is eager to buy a home for us now too.
Regret… it’s hard
Perhaps, the reason I never regret anything is because I never look back and always think optimistically about what’s coming. Not to mention I am too busy with mommying, blogging, being an influencer and doing all the behind the scenes stuff for the business that you guys never hear about. There is no time to sit and regret.
I made self-care a priority
One thing I didn’t change, and definitely recommend to all the moms, is making time for me. I never want to lose my shit to a point of regret with the kiddos, so I make sure I fuel myself with things that make me happy. And, no that’s not being selfish. That’s taking care of yourself physically, and mentally so that you can take care of your babies. I still have my weekly coffee dates wih my best friend, whether it’s a new coffee shop we explore, retail therapy or a sushi date we still see each other. Honestly, this is the best therapy and the best way that I know to keep my sanity.
Also, some days I just escape a bit to browse Target or Home Goods all by myself. I need that. It’s like a reset button.
Don’t fall in a routine rut
And although it’s ten times harder, I always go places with the kiddos to keep us from falling into a constant routine rut and just to have fun. I want to enjoy motherhood, so all the things we love and that makes them happy and keeps me sane. I make it a point to go out for walks, to the park, local zoo or the big city zoo, explore different forest preserves, museums and attend events. There is so much to do, and ways to make motherhood more enjoyable.
It’s all about the mindset
Of course, there are always going to be days when you just feel overwhelmed, not accomplished, want to cry and just hide in the bathroom from your kids. And that’s fine, you’re allowed those feelings and so am I. But don’t that let that stop you from living, and having fun with your kiddos. If I am having a bad day because everything just seems to be going wrong that day, I just shift my mindset to think that not everyday is a paradise and these days are okay too. I let myself have those days to.
If you read this far I just wanted to say thank you because, you make this possible and you make me want to write. And if you take anything from this, let it be the fact that motherhood is hard, we are all in this together whether you’re a work at the office mama, a work from home mama or stay at home. We should support each other, not judge one another. Always remember to take care of yourself first, so you can take care of your loved ones.